I love the quote, "what others think about you is none of your business" because, well, it's bloody true. This saying can be confronting, but once you truly understand the meaning, it's not only empowering but totally freeing.
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We're here on this beautiful planet to live a life that makes us feel fulfilled. A life that we're happy and proud to live, but instead, so many of us are living by someone's else's rules or beliefs.
We often try to live up to other peoples expectations of us rather than doing what comes authentically to us, rather than questioning things, trying new things and figuring out what lights us up inside.
I wanted to create this podcast not because I think you shouldn't care what others think because it's important to listen and respect others opinions. It's just important to remember that what others have to say about you, your life choices, or how you look should not concern you.
Imagine wasting time worrying about what someone else thinks about you?
And yet we all do it! Why?
We all want to fit in with the tribe because back in primitive times if we were an outcast, we were probably going to get eaten by a sabre-toothed tiger.
These days sandpapering ourselves to fit into societies mould is just crippling to our self-worth.
When we care too much about what others think of us, we create a version of ourselves that is unauthentic. We hold back or restrict ourselves because of how we think we will be perceived.
Guess what; the world needs you to step into your power and become 100% authentic to yourself, your beliefs, and what makes YOU happy.
Anyone who makes you believe that you should be concerned with your own way of thinking and pressures you to conform to their way of thinking is trying to control you - boy bye.
For example, we're made to feel as though we must look and be certain to be seen as an attractive female, compared to what we see in the media, and if we don't look that way, we have to buy into products that will "help us" - enter consumerism.
Let them think what they want, I say.
Give them that gift by letting go of trying to control their thoughts of you. You need all of your energy to take care of you and create a life you love to live.
Realise no one is looking at you...
We've all been there when you go to the gym or the beach, and you're worried about what others think of you, and the negative self-talk begins. "she shouldn't be wearing that", "she shouldn't be here" or "does she even know what she's doing?"
And around the merry go round we go, conjuring up all these self-destructive thoughts but once you realise that NO ONE is even looking at you, you're able to relax and live yo' damn life.
People are more concerned with how they look, what they're doing and what they're going to have for dinner that night. They're not looking at you or thinking how terrible you look and even if they are, it's none of your damn business.
"You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realise how seldom they do." — David Foster Wallace
Unless you do something that directly impacts the life of another person, they're probably not going to spend much time thinking about you at all.
What does this tell us? We may as well be doing what makes us happy then.
Know your values
You know the saying if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything? You need to know what you value in life and what you stand for.
Do you know what's important to you and what you value in your life? If you're not sure, then you'll likely be influenced by others.
When you know what you stand for and what you're working towards, e.g. happiness, business goals, life changes, a home, a career etc. then it's easier for you to say "no" to things that distract from that and "yes" to the things that matter to you.
When you know what you stand for, what other people think of you becomes less important.
Your family and friends don't always know what's best for you
A controversial topic I know, because we should care what the ones around us think. You should be respectful and hear what they have to say, but sometimes they know what's best for you.
Our families often know us the best, and so this may lead them to think they know what's best for us. Families and friends can sometimes also be the most judgmental and the most influential and so it's essential to know your boundaries so that you're still able to become the person you know you are.
You can have completely conflicting beliefs but still be friends.
It might mean you don't discuss certain topics, but it doesn't mean you can't get along. I think it's important to realise that you love those around you and value their opinions; however, what they might think of you is still NONE of your business.
Realise You can't please everyone
"I can't please everyone!" Is something my mum used to scream at us once she's become entirely overwhelmed with trying unsuccessfully to please everyone.
But guess what, she was right.
No matter how much time and effort you put into being something you're not or trying to change someone's perception of you, you'll realise you can't please everyone. One person will be happy, and then someone else will have a problem with you.
When you try to please everyone, you'll end up pleasing no one so you may as well please yourself.
It won't be easy initially, but don't get discouraged.
We must get comfortable with being uncomfortable. We must know what we stand for and stand up for that, learn to embrace the power of "no" and become the person you know you were born to be.
The world is already full of people who obey the status quo, but the people who don't give a f*ck are the ones that change the world or at least change their own worlds.
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