Our relationship with our bodies is like a roller coaster, some times we're feelin' ourselves and other times we're not. It's not always easy, in fact, it's highly likely that you struggle with your body image mindset from time to time.
It's important to realise that how we see ourselves is entirely our own perception. You and you alone choose how your body looks through what you tell yourself.
Some days I think to myself my body is too muscular and other days I find it to be bloated or gross but it's my body — it's a reflection of my mindset on that day, it's not a reflection of my body.
That is why it's so important to work on your mindset, and in today's video, I'm going to teach you how to change your mindset so that you can start developing a healthy relationship with your body.
Developing a Positive Body Image
As soon as we start to work more on ourselves internally and not just externally, the sooner we will learn to love ourselves.
You could change everything you think is wrong with your body and you would still feel unhappy. Do you know why?
Because there will always be something.
Your nose was too big, so you get a nose job. Now your nostrils are uneven, so you get another nose job. Now, something else is wrong with your nose or you move onto your boobs or what you could do to your butt... do you catch my drift?
I know because I've been there. We tell ourselves "as soon as I lose weight and reach xyz goal, I'll be happy". Then you achieve it and you're still now happy or it's unachievable which makes you feel worthless.
It's an endless cycle that only ends as soon as you realise that there is nothing wrong with your body and how you looks right now. The problem is deeper than that.
The answer to or problems? Our mindset.
We hold the key. As soon as we do the inner work on who we really are, what we really want, our goals (outside of our bodies), our values — we can start to develop a positive body image and live a life that doesn't revolve around how we look but how we feel.
How I changed my mindset
Growing up I was very thin until I hit about ... I don't know, 16, 17. I always wanted big boobs growing up. I thought, "Oh I want big boobs." Because all my friends were getting big boobs and I was flat-chested. I was so thin and I thought, "I want to become a woman, I want to get my period, I want to get big boobs." And then that all that happened, and then I hated those changes and wanted to go back.
Over time what I've realised is, I don't need to buy clothes that are too small to try and lose weight. I don't need to diet or hate my body because the problem wasn't with my body. The problem was in my head.
Created by marketing, the media and the lies people tell us to sell their skinny teas, or diets, or exercise regimes.
The media told me that I had to look a certain way to be aesthetically pleasing to others, to men, to industry standards. And in the modelling industry told me the same thing, so of course, I believed it. Growing up I always thought, "I'm getting a boob job." Because I went from stick thin to big boobs pretty much overnight and I did a lot of yo-yo dieting along the way, throw in an eating disorder or two as well as the pill affecting my hormones.
With the weight fluctuation that comes with all of that, I developed some stretch marks and saggy boobs that I hated with a passion.
Then something really weird happened... I started to love and appreciate my body.
I became a curve model and I started becoming a lot more confident in my skin and realised that no matter what, there's always going to be something that I want to change and to be honest that feeling never really goes away BUT you can learn to stop listening to those thoughts.
Appreciating your body the way it is
It didn't just happen overnight, it took a lot of different life experiences for me to start to develop this realiSation that I could change my nose, or my lips, or my boobs, or whatever it might be, but there will always be something.
I thought about getting a boob job, no hate to anyone who's had breast augmentation because if you've done that for you and you're happy and that gives you confidence, fricking hallelujah.
You've found something that works for you, that's amazing. And if you've done it for you, even better!
I wanted a bob job because the media and society tell us that there is only one type of beautiful. I didn't actually want big fake plastic things in my chest, it actually really scared me. But what scared me more was that people would think I was disgusting or that I wasn't attractive, and I would have literally, like when I had an eating disorder, I would have done anything to lose the weight, to become skinny. Unhealthy extents I would go to, and I know so many other women go to.
What matters is how you feel about yourself, how you're living your life. If you are living your life counting calories or trying to live up to somebody else's expectations of you, you're never going to be happy.
You don't know what you really want, you don't know how you actually feel about yourself because all these messages, all these images that are being thrown at us are making us feel a certain way about ourselves. And it's the small steps that we need to take to stop blocking that out to figure out, "What do I want? How do I feel about my body?" Because I didn't actually want a boob job. And who knows? In 10 years time, I have a couple of children. Maybe I will want to boob job. But that's for future Brooke to decide. And current Brooke is really, really appreciative of her body and what it's done for her, and what it goes through every day to take care of me and I want to take care of it right back.
Really go inside yourself and start asking yourself the questions on, "What do I want? Would this actually build my confidence?" Because sometimes after you have something done, it's too light or whatever. You have regret.
You don't want to wake up one day and think to yourself "I've just wasted ten years of my life worrying about how I look rather than how I feel and enjoying experiences that make me rich."
Reframing negative self-talk
We're going to have those moments where we look in the mirror and we're not happy, we think we've failed at something. And you're going to start talking negatively to yourself, and it's in those moments where you have to realise that's happening.
Have to think, "Okay, why am I talking negatively to myself right now? If my friend was going through this, how would I speak to her?" Reframe how you speak to yourself. Pick yourself up and have the self-awareness to realise "This isn't healthy to be putting myself down like this."
The key message is you will never ever, ever, ever be fully content with yourself, with your relationships, with your life, until you realize that it's all about how you talk to yourself. It's all about your mindset. It's all about empowering yourself and the messages you tell yourself every single day.
It's not about waking up one day and loving yourself, it's about the small habits each and every day that you practice that help you love yourself just a little bit more.
That's how you will slowly build your confidence and self-love to have a healthy relationship with your body.
Time, Experiences and Effort
I talked about this in one of my podcast episodes, the Modeling Confidence Podcast, where it takes time, it takes experiences, and it takes effort to really learn how to love yourself and build your confidence.
It won't have overnight, honey. Let me tell you, I've been through a lot of life experiences to get here, and I have a long way to go, but I wanted to put that out there for you to really think about.
I hope you enjoyed this video. If you did, be sure to give it a thumbs-up, and subscribe if you want more. I'm going to put more videos like this. I hope you're having an amazing day and I'll speak to you very soon.